A few Fridays ago, I posted the above meme, but forgot to include the crucial explanation for why stepping on a piece of Lego does so much to bolster one’s swear lexicon. For that I apologize, and in an effort to redeem myself, here we go.
The searing pain builds power and blossoms in your foot like the aliens’ primary weapon in Independence Day, and instantly knifes its way up your leg to your brain, whereupon multicolored sparklers threaten to shoot out of your eyeballs. Then, you do a Peter Griffin for a while:
Why is all this happening? Well, I know that’s one of the most-asked questions in this section of the solar system, and a (moving) picture’s worth a thousand words, so here’s the video for which we’ve all been waiting since Lego and feet were invented:
Legos can take an awe-inspiring amount of pressure, and there’s no flex when you stand on one of the little buggers. Your feet are just packed to the rafters with sensitive nerve endings, so you end up with the equivalent of a DDOS attack, with your brain receiving an overload of not-fun signals as your feet try to keep doing their job of keeping you upright while contending with a whole truckload of OW OW OW OW. Here’s a two part segmented and enhanced image of the process captured on one of the latest electron microscopes:
Legos have sharp corners and ridges on top, and each piece can support about 454 kilograms before it starts deforming. Ergo, unless you’re a Sumo wrestler with steel-belted radial feet or tip the scales in the hummingbird range, you should probably steer clear of Legos when you’re outside of your shoes.